A polar question is a closed-ended question, in which the expected answer is a “yes” or a “no”. In the early stages of learning to communicate, the “Yes”/ “No” question is one that helps your child exercise his/her gift of “choice”.

This is also a very useful method to use, to quickly understand whether the child wants something or not. At times, this can also help the parent understand the reason for the child's behaviour. 

Examples of a simple Yes/No question:-

“Are you hungry?” 

"Do you want to eat dosa?"

"Do you want a break?" 

"Do you have pain"?

"Do you want to sleep"?


Understanding Polar Questions


Children learn very early to communicate using gestures. They push things away, turn their head, gesture with their hands etc. In the early stages of learning to communicate verbally, asking “Yes”/ “No” questions can be an excellent way to prompt your child to use words. It aptly captures what your child is trying to say. 


Note: Ask the child a yes-no question if you don't know the answer to it.  But if your child is reaching for food, don't take away the food and say "Are you hungry?"

 

How does answering Yes-No questions help the child

  1. It helps in reinforcing what the child has learnt so far, i.e. develops their comprehension . E.g. "Is this a car?" 

  2. It helps the child to assert their choice. E.g. "Do you want to wear this shirt?" 

 

Vocabulary in Avaz

Home> Yes-No

Note: The above screenshot is taken from Avaz India app

 

How to teach Yes

1. Use common objects that the child is already aware of. E.g. plate, spoon, bottle, watch. 

2. Show a plate and ask "Is this a plate?"

3. Say and model on Avaz "Yes, this is a plate", while pointing to the word in Avaz 

4. Stress on the word "yes" as you speak the sentence aloud. 

5. Repeat the model many times to help the child understand it. 

6. After a few days, try asking your child "Is this a plate"?

7. If there is no attempt to communicate, use Prompting techniques to elicit the correct response. 

It is important to note that even if the child doesn't respond after prompting, it's perfectly ok to continue to model as much as possible and move on. It can take many sessions of modelling before the learner will use a modelled word or utterance.


8. Once the child is able to communicate using prompting, fade the prompt to make a independent response. Refer the same Prompting techniques. 

9. Offer many more opportunities to use Yes in day-to-day activities. 

Example: use objects that the child already identifies. 

- Is this a car?

- Is this a ball? 

10. Once the child learns the  of affirmative, you can expand it with other types of questions.

11. Choose a food / activity that your child loves to do.

      Example: - "Do you want to eat dosa ?"

12. Model for the child the word yes while saying "Yes you want to eat dosa", while stressing on the word yes.

13. Follow steps 4 to 9 to make the child independently respond. 

14. Give many more opportunities to respond with Yes to such questions related to the child's needs.

       More examples: 

    - Parent: Do you want to eat dosa? 

      I see you getting the plate. Yes, you want to eat dosa now", while serving the dosa.

    - Parent:"Do you want to go out? 

      I see you wearing your shoes. Yes, you want to go to the park." 

    -  Parent: "Does she want water? 

        She is getting the glass. Yes, she wants water," while pouring the water. 

    -  Parent: "Do you like the blue shirt? 

        I see you looking happy. Yes, you like the blue shirt. Wear it on."

    -  Mom:"Dad, do you want an apple? "

        Dad: Yes (modelled on Avaz and ensure that the child sees it being modelled). 
        Mom: Dad said yes. Here is an apple for dad".

    -  Parent: "Do you want more banana". Tell me yes if  you want more."

        

        Use verbal referencing to confirm. 

15. If you have taught feelings, you can ask the following questions to find out more about the child's state of mind: 

    - "Are you  hungry? I see you reaching for the food. Yes, you are hungry. You want to eat now."

    -  "You are rubbing your eyes. I think you are sleepy. Can you tell me yes if you are sleepy.

    - "Are  you tired? You are rubbing your eyes. Yes, you must be tired. Let's go to bed."

    - "Are you in pain? You have hurt your leg. Yes, you must be in pain."

    - "Are you sleepy? I can see you yawning. Yes, you are sleepy.".

16 Another approach: 

Parent (showing a banana):- "Is this is a banana? Yes! This is a banana. Now you tell me, is this a banana?” 

Pause for an answer. What answer did your child give?

Child:- “Yes”

Parent:- “Well done! Yes, it is a banana! Now, do you want to eat the banana?”

Child:- “Yes”

Parent:- “Good job! You said yes, so here is one piece of the banana.”

                "Do you want another piece of banana?"

Child:- “Yes”

Parent:- “Great! You said yes, so here is one more piece of the banana.”

Child:- “No”. 

Parent:- “Okay! You said no, you don't want a banana. Here is an banana.”


If the child taps "No", then proceed with that as the response. Don't try to correct it to yes. This helps the child identify the error they make. E.g.

    Parent: "Are you sleepy?"

    Child:    "Yes"

    Parent:  "Yes, you are rubbing your eyes. You look sleepy. Let's go to bed."

    Child:    "No"

    Parent:  "Okay, you are not sleepy now, let us play pillow fights."

Another example

    Parent: "Are you hungry?"

    Child:    "No"

    Parent:  ""If you are not hungry now, we can eat later. We can do some colouring now."


Another example

    While tickling the child, ask "Do you want more? Yes or no? "

    Child:    "No"

    Parent:  "You said no, I will stop tickling you."

    Child:    "Yes"

    Parent:  "You said yes, you want more tickles. Here it comes." and tickle the child some more. 

Another example

    While tickling the child, ask "Do you want more? Yes or no? "

    Child:    "No"

    Parent:  "You said no, I will stop tickling you."

    Child:    "Yes"

    Parent:  "You said yes, you want more tickles. Here it comes." and tickle the child some more. 


How to teach No

  1. Adopt a similar approach to teaching "yes" as given above.

  2. Use common objects that the child is already aware of. E.g. plate, spoon, bottle, watch. 

  3. Show a plate and ask "Is this a spoon?". Or show a bottle and ask "Is this a ball?"

  4. Say and model on Avaz "No, this is not a spoon. This is a plate", while pointing to the word in Avaz. Or say "No, this is a not a ball. This is a bottle", while modelling it on Avaz.

  5. Stress on the word "no" as you speak the sentence aloud. 

  6. Repeat the model many times and with many other objects that the child can identify. 

  7. After a few days, try asking your child to answer your question "Is this a plate" pointing to a spoon.

  8. If there is no attempt to communicate, use  Prompting techniques to elicit the response. 

  9. Once the child is able to communicate using prompting, fade the prompt to make a independent response. 

  10. Even if the child doesn't respond after prompting, it's perfectly ok to continue to model as much as possible and move on. It can take many sessions of modelling before the learner will use a modelled word or utterance.

  11. Offer many more opportunities to use No in day-to-day activities. 

Example: 

-   Point to a ball and ask "Is this a car? No this is not a car, this is a ball."

-   Point to a red shirt and ask "Is this green shirt? No, this not a green shirt, this is a red shirt."

-   After outdoor play: "Should you wash your hands after playing. Yes, you should, it is dirty."


11. Choose food or activities that are the non-preferred items for the child. 

12. Model "No" on Avaz while stressing on the word no as you speak the sentence aloud. 

       Example: 

    - Do you want to do painting? You are pushing the brush away. No, you don't like to paint. 

    - Do you want to drink carrot soup? I see you pushing the bowl away. No, you don't like carrot soup. 

13. Another approach - make it silly and have fun. 

Put the socks in the child's hand and say "Does it go here? Yes or no?"

Child:- “No”

Parent:- “Nice job! No, the socks goes on your feet.”


Exchange bottle lids of different sizes and try and close the bottle

Parent:  "Is this the bottle's lid? Yes or no"

Parent:- “No, it is not closing. This is not the correct lid.”

 

Note: 

  1. The best results happen when the learner is having fun! So try your best to use activities, or topics that are fun for the learner. Make the experience silly or fun by using activities that are in line with the learner’s interests. 

  2. It is really important to NOT FORCE a response from the user. Forcing communication can lead to reluctance or refusal later, because communication becomes a demand or a "test".

  3. At the beginning, we can start asking simple three-four word questions. Asking longer questions may confuse the child.

  4. Children tend to imitate our questions, when they first learn to communicate. By keeping our tone neutral, we can prompt them to give their original answer. 

  5. Children are very aware of our responses too! When we show them that we respect their choice, they will express themselves even better!

Do's and Don'ts

 

Do’s 

Use polar questions to ease into a conversation. 

Ask questions like, “Would you like to…” (or) “Is it alright if I…” (or) “Did you enjoy….”. 

This way your child will feel safe enough to exercise their choice and not feel intimidated. Also, ask questions that are not presumptuous, such as, “Did you paint this yourself?”, “Have you done your homework?”, “May I take your plate away?”. These questions will encourage your child to speak up for him/herself and reaffirm their dignity.

Don’ts 

Avoid using “Yes”/ “No” questions as your only way of communicating with your child. Remember that your child is capable of expressing him/herself in many different ways. As a parent, it is in our best interest to discern those expressions, however subtle they may be and respond accordingly to our children.

Ambiguities. Sometimes, even a “Yes” or “No” question tends to create some confusion with respect to the subject being discussed. How does that happen? Here are a few examples.

 

Ambiguity

What it is and examples

How to resolve it

Yes/No suggesting

 

In response to “Yes”/ “No” questions, children tend to display a “compliance tendency”, especially by observing the tone in which it is asked. In other words, they tend to provide an answer that is more or less an imitation of the question itself. For example:-

If the child were asked “Is this book big?”, the child says, “Yes it is”. But if you ask, “Is this book not big?”, the child is more likely to say, “No it is not”

Observe your own tone when you ask a question. Is it commensurate with the nature of the question? Are you being suggestive of what the answer should be? If you want your child’s honest answer, try to maintain a neutral tone of voice when posing the question. 

A-not-A Question

 

Some polar questions offer two opposite possibilities for an answer. Such as:-

“Did you eat your veggies or not?” 

The answers can be varied, based on the tone of the question. If the question was asked suggesting that the kid has eaten the veggies, the answer would be:-

“Yes (I ate my veggies)”

“No (I did not eat my veggies)”

Meanwhile if the question was asked in a tone that suggests that (s)he may not have eaten their veggies, the answer would be:-

“Yes (I did not eat my veggies)”

“No (I ate my veggies)”

 

When asking a closed-ended question, only use a single variable. For example, “Have you eaten your veggies?”

 

Choice Question or Alternative Question

 

A choice question is one in which the answer is more than a mere Yes/No. For instance the question, “Would you like to wear that red dress or the yellow dress?” would elicit the following answers:-

“Yes” (either of those two dresses)

“No” (neither of those two dresses)

“The red dress”

“The yellow dress”

If you would like your child to filter down their available choices, then break the given example into two questions:-

  1. “Would you like to wear one of these two dresses?”

  2. “Would you like to wear the red one?”

 

Include yes-no in your daily activities together

Sit with your child today and enjoy a conversation about an activity that you are doing together. Find out what goes on in the mind of your little one and be amazed! Doesn’t it feel great to have a conversation at length with your child, whereby your kid can respond to you just as well as you do to him/her? Do remember to give him/her a pat on the back or a word of appreciation to bring closure to your conversation. Once both you and your child have gotten used to these kinds of conversations and have developed an intuitive understanding of each other’s style of asking and answering, you will soon be able to proceed to asking open-ended questions that allow your child to be even more expressive. What’s more, you can help any other well-wisher having the same difficulty to feel at ease by teaching them this simple exercise.

Related video: 

Watch this video by parent Smrithy Rajesh, as she uses Yes-No concept with her child Advaith:

Video with Advaith - Using Yes-No